Writer: Ezekiel Lee Zhiang Yang

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Watch this if you liked: "Kung Fu Dunk"

Right from the beginning, "Kung Fu Hip Hop" never managed to avoid being "Kung Fu Rip Off", a classless attempt to make some money by applying some basic understanding of how to make a movie. How does one start this review? The movie is very forced and laughably poor - it even appears unedited.

With a bit of research, the ugly head of globalisation and merging markets reveals itself - this is a China production utilising the star appeal of a Hong Kong big name with a popular Mainland actress and a Korean dancer, not to mention an overlong Pepsi ad which didn't try too hard to hide it. Invasive product placement isn't a killer, really - but poor dubbing is. Throughout the already overlong 90 odd minutes of "Kung Fu Hip Hop", conversations sound and appear completely incoherent, due to the multinational nature of its production and distribution. The "San Kai" sharpness of Jordan Chan's true voice got lost in his mild mannerisms, as he mouthed his lines in soft Mandarin. South Korean star Nam Hyun Joon had exaggerated speech movements because he wanted to compensate. Worse yet, Fan Bing Bing is all whispers.

Never mind, I thought - there's the dancing. However, that too fell woefully short of industry standards. The songs were doubtlessly catchy but the co-ordination was a little embarrassing. Many scenes were stylised and edited in such a disagreeable way, cheating its way through 90 minutes of a supposed dance movie.

Okay, now I think I'll go and re-watch "Honey" while jogging on a treadmill with my TV upside down - just to see if the dancing was any better than "Kung Fu Hip Hop".

Cinema Online, 23 September 2008